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New Year’s Reflections (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Broken Toilet)
January 6, 2017 /If you had been in my family’s living room at about 2:30 on Christmas morning, you might have heard urgent mutterings and a disturbing hissing sound coming out from under the bathroom door. Had you ventured to inspect the situation further, you would have observed my stepfather and I as we removed the cap of the toilet tank, endured a generous vertical explosion of water, and fumbled with the toilet’s innards for several feeble minutes before replacing the cap and catching our breath. You would have watched us repeat this cycle for quite some time. It’s hard to come up with fresh ideas when your face is repeatedly doused with cold toilet tank water, after all. You might wonder how I got myself into such a situation in the wee hours before dawn on Christmas. It all began when I woke up at about 2 o’clock in the morning to the sound of the toilet running upstairs. Now, the bathroom in my childhood home has been subject to all kinds of problems (sharing one toilet and shower between 7 people puts quite a lot of stress on the pipes, as it turns out), and though the house’s plumbing has limped…Read more
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It’s a Christmas Miracle!
December 16, 2016 /Each holiday season, I like to kick back and remember the time my family banded together to roll a derelict hot tub down the road on Christmas Eve. The particular Christmas I’m about to describe would have been strange enough without the aforementioned tub. For one thing, it snowed about a foot that year, a curious and sensational occurrence in the Puget Sound, one liable to cause widespread panic in the streets (curiously, us Northwesterners can endure years of nonstop rain with stoic indifference, but the lightest dusting of snow results in pandemonium and chaos). Additionally, we lost electricity for the week leading up to Christmas Eve morning, meaning my poor mother’s preparations for our annual holiday party (normally a three week affair, if you don’t count the additional six months of initial planning) were squeezed into a mere six hours. To top things off, I had pretty extensive oral surgery just a few days before the festivities, so I spent much of the holiday sitting in a corner in a peaceful, painkiller-induced haze. As I said, all of this would have been enough strangeness for one Christmas, even without the hot tub. The tub in question appeared as if…Read more
