World’s Greenest Hummer?
Aug 28th, 2007 by Dennis S. Pearce
I was at Home Depot a couple weeks ago, putting in my order at the paint counter for a couple more sample quarts, in the hopes that we could arrive at some armistice in the paint wars – it was color selection time at our house again. The last time our house was painted, a Democrat was in the Presidential hot seat, so we were close to the statute of limitations on that batch of pigment.
The colors we had chosen for this particular round of paint scheme roulette came from the green family, and had names like Sonoran Sands, Raked Leaves and Palisade. Grandiose handles for wall coverings. As it happened, I was also wearing a loose green shirt, over a green t-shirt, with olive green sandals (no socks- it was in the 80’s) A fellow customer standing in line sized me up succinctly with his observation: “you like green, don’t you?” I was in no position to deny it as I headed across the parking lot, back to my Galapagos green 2004 Honda Element.
I’m sure there’s a personality test based solely on color preferences. I wouldn’t take it – I already know the likely results: Green lovers clearly have a left-leaning political stance, prefer peanut butter on their pancakes, and have silly hobbies like Snowboarding, Fly fishing, and Radio Controlled Monster Trucks. Guilty as charged. Although on that last one, I have to confess to a long term fascination only recently re-discovered and satisfied by a new acquisition.
R/c Monster trucks only came onto my radar a few weeks ago. The fascination was swift and total. Years ago I had delusions of remote-controlled flight, but the prospect of frequent gravitational recalls and subsequent repairs helped me decide that would have to wait. I haven’t kept up with advances in r/c technology, so it was a thrill to be introduced to the wonders of the latest in 4×4 independently suspended, hi-velocity gizmos.
I’m really not clear on what the exact draw is with radio controlled devices. I suspect there’s an element of omniscience, mixed with a bystander’s wonder and dread at the carnage of a wreck he caused, but didn’t suffer from. It’s also a thrill to test the limits of physics from the relative safety of ‘outside’ the vehicle.
As I have been learning, I’m not alone in my fixation – YouTube has hundreds if not thousands of contributors illustrating the allure of remoteness. From guys jumping their gas-powered stadium trucks over houses to cabin-feverish Midwesterners skipping their wickedly fast, ultra-modified cars over a hastily chopped 7’ hole in late-winter ice. This fascination with vicarious destruction is apparently not unique – I tripped over several sites dedicated to nothing but bashing R/C trucks, including THIS ONE.
But my love of flight always leads me back to the sky- and there’s nothing like an rc Tomcat video to get the juices flowing (complete with TopGun soundtrack). And of course there’s reality, with the inevitable jet plane crash collection, which reinforces my fantasy of a bottomless hobby wallet.
But all this is really just a diversion. As a Realtor, I’m constantly reminded that it’s our material collections that make us who we are – I mean that is the reason for all the Lexus, Mercedes and Hummer marques in the parking lot, right? So, not wanting to seem too far out of touch with the industry norms, I felt it was only right to combine my new hobby with my as-yet unfulfilled upwardly mobile desires (yeah right), and toss in a bit of marketing to boot. The result is my new ‘advertising vehicle’- The PickettStreet Hummer; With not 1, but 2 electric motors, full-time 4WD, independent suspension and an unmodified top speed of 35mph, with 0 emissions, and 0 mpg. So I finally have my Realtor’s badge of honor, and can hold my head high without fear of reprisals from the fuel-misers in the crowd. Now to figure out how I’m going to transport clients in this thing?!
Details: Stock Traxxas E-Maxx www.traxxas.com with a Proline H2 Body, custom painted by yours truly. Graphics courtesy of Lynn Krinsky & the crew @ StellaColor (www.stellacolor.com).
Watch for video – coming soon!
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